Week Sixty One – That’s What She Said.

So, six months since I signed the lease of the Brookvale property. Five months since I threw open the doors (every Friday and Saturday anyway) and as many months since I’ve not slept like the proverbial log. The minute my head hits the pillow – I’m out.Luscious Shopfront Before Kiki

What’s the wash? Well, I’ll tell you very honestly.

It is a lot of hard work. Not just a couple of days a week, but every day, seven days a week – as I knew it would be. I absolutely love it though. I do my own thing every day, make what I want to make, create what I want to create…I have fun every day.

Not all day every day, but every day.

Sometimes there’s those days when I wish that the alarm was not going off and I could just hit snooze and tuck back in under the sheets. Those days when the coffee machine and the fridge decide they are going to break down at the same time. Those days when you catch your finger in a spice grinder and it is so early in the morning that no one is around, so you feel it would be best to lie on the floor for a while, until you don’t feel like passing out any more.

Then there’s those OTHER days…the days when one of your customers comments that he lives in such a great area, ‘cause he’s got Zumbo at Manly & Luscious at Brookvale! Those days when you’ve spent two weeks “romancing” a potential new wholesale customer and then they place an order for three slabs of lamingtons! Or then there are those days when you are developing a new recipe – and it just works.

And then there was Luscious!

And then there was Luscious!

But even after those absolutely fabulous days, I get home and there’s banking and accounting to do…that’s when you realise that you are not actually making ends meet and more to the point, the bank has called to say they are renaming your savings account to “spendings account”.

I joke about it because otherwise, I will cry. I am so tired all the time, bordering on sleep deprivation you could say and today at Coles I was stopped by a lovely young man who ask me if I would help Red Cross and I said I couldn’t because I was actually headed in to Coles to buy noodles for dinner, because I didn’t have any money for anything else. And the next thing I know my eyes a brimming in front of a complete stranger!

One of my dearest and oldest friends popped in to the shop to say hi the other day and naturally, he asked me how it was going. I said I didn’t want to talk about it because I’d cry (any of you who actually know me, know that I don’t cry easily). At which point I dropped my face into my hands and bawled like a baby.

I absolutely cringe writing about it now, as the look in his eyes was complete and utter pity – and I hate that. Hate me. Love me – but don’t pity me…pul-eaze!

He asked my why I didn’t ask for help…which got me thinking. Why don’t I ask for help? Ever?

The eldest of three siblings and an Aries to boot, I balk at anything remotely like asking for help.Double Choc Chip Cookie

Why? Is it a fault in my design? Is it a consequence of my life experiences? Do I think it makes me appear weak (heaven forbid)? Am I just a stubborn bitch? Is it all of the above?

If I am not baking, I’m cleaning. If I am not cleaning, I’m doing accounting. If I’m not doing accounting, I’m out dropping off samples. If I’m not dropping off samples, I’m making deliveries. And so on. You get the gist.

So, I find myself engaging in “self talk” in my “down” time (usually cleaning and driving) and this is what she says – can you really do this for much longer? Can you continue to fund this folly? Are you going to be living in a caravan at Narrabeen in the not too distant future?

So here is the plan myself and I have come up with; the shop will be closing over the Christmas/New Year break (closing 24th December, reopening 11th January), during this time I have to secure 10 new wholesale customers. I also have to plan for and market children’s lamington making classes, to be run Saturday afternoons by appointment. I also have to secure some private functions for morning or afternoon tea – offering my café as a private function room. I also have to set up a website (with the assistance of the aforementioned fabulous friend) and somewhere in there take a little “she” time. Although I am a totally capable woman, all work and no play makes for a very dull Kiki!

That’s what she said!

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6 comments

  1. Peter Tipping · December 18, 2012

    One thing you can be sure of is that you are rich in love from your family. On that note I would like to add that no longer should you offer freebies to family members as they enjoy what you create and are always willing to help when needed. So stop trying to be so strong and independant and take what is offered to you, not out of pity but out of love. That’s what he said.

    • Luscious Kiki · December 23, 2012

      Well – I blame you and Ma…you brought me up like this! But I can’t charge family! You’re family! And besides I think I still owe you for all that hard work during set up!

      Love you Dad xxx

  2. Joy Tipping · December 19, 2012

    Keep on keeping on and you know all you have to do is say help! but it will take perserverence and determination and you have those qualities. We all love you and want to help is possible.

    • Luscious Kiki · December 23, 2012

      Thanks Mum. Love you as always xxx

  3. Dee · December 20, 2012

    I understand the “I can do it on my own” thing gorgeous; we believe that to feel like we’ve “made it” we need to do it on our own. (My Dad’s an Aries and it’s difficult to help him too 🙂 ) But you know what – we don’t need to do it on our own. Sometimes we do need the help or insights etc from other people to keep us going, or to provide that spark when we just want to fall in a heap. Our world won’t crumble if we let someone in and admit to needing help. Allowing others to help gives them such joy and an opportunity to contribute to someone they love & believe in. You are a very capable woman Kiki; always knew you were. So…. I’m here to help if you’ll let me, just let me know how. xxx
    PS: Crying is good for the soul 🙂

    • Luscious Kiki · December 23, 2012

      Thanks Dee! Your support has been fantastic! What would I do without your help and words of encouragement?
      I hope Santa brings you everything your heart desires.
      Love you long time xxx

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